Facial Hair Styles Women Hate

Facial Hair Styles

To both sexes, the physical feature that ranks as the most important when evaluating another person's level of attractiveness is the face. Yes, women love toned biceps and Six-pack-abs, but if you have a great face, you don't need a flawless physique for the fairer sex to find it hard to keep their hands off you. Apart from your hairstyle, the No. 1 way for a guy to make his face more appealing is with the right facial hair style. Of course, the converse is true: the fastest way to make women think you've got a fugly mug is to insist on sporting bizarre, over-the-top or just plain sloppy facial hair. To avoid committing a facial hair style faux pas and ensure that your bed stays busy, read on for our ultimate list of the facial hair styles that women hate.

Chin strap

Alternative facial hair style: balbo
In the 19th century, chin straps were the dernier cri in men's grooming, with Abraham Lincoln being one notable fan of this facial hair style. Nearly 200 years later, chin straps are still around, though these days men with chin straps tend to keep the overall length of their facial hair much shorter than they did in Honest Abe's time. Unfortunately, while keeping the length of your chin straps short does make you seem more like you belong in the present millennium, it doesn't change the fact that chin straps are not, and never have been, particularly flattering on any man's face. One look at America's 16th president will show you why -- rather than making you look distinguished, chin straps make you seem a little scary, not to mention old fashioned. Instead, try a well-groomed balbo, which will give you the facial hair you crave but in a much more dignified style.

Landing strips

Alternative facial hair style: clean shaven
You might like landing strips on women (ahem), but they don't like them on your face. This style makes you seem like you're trying too hard and the level of attention required for this look's upkeep means you come off as being high-maintenance. You'll seem more refined and less fussed about your appearance if you opt to remove this unnecessary patch of hair and go for a clean-shaven face instead.

Horseshoe moustache

Alternative facial hair style: balbo
Please realize that horsehoe moustaches are in close competition with full, unkempt beards for the facial hair style women hate most. Even when it's well-groomed, at best a handlebar moustache will make you look like you're emulating a cheesy '70s biker. This style is even more of a turnoff when you have to put product in your facial hair to mold it into place. Horseshoe moustaches should therefore only be donned by men who are intrigued by the idea of experimenting with an extended period of celibacy. For a much more chic style that still permits you to have a significant amount of facial hair, try a balbo, like the one Robert Downey Jr. is often snapped wearing.

Mutton chops

Alternative facial hair style: short sideburns
The other day I had the disappointing experience of seeing a man with an extremely good body and great bone structure step off a bus only to notice that massive mutton chops were covering up much of his otherwise handsome looks. The lesson to be learned here is that mutton chops can quickly make a woman's interest in you fall to zero. The exception to this rule is if you happen to be Wolverine or, more accurately, Hugh Jackman as a ripped superhero. Even then, most women would secretly be hoping that they could use their feminine wiles to convince you to lose the mutton chops. Given that magically turning into Hugh Jackman isn't really an option, swap mutton chops for short sideburns, a style women universally find sexy.

The lumberjack

Alternative facial hair style: permanent five o'clock shadow
Battling it out with the handlebar for women's most hated male facial hair styles is the lumberjack beard, which comprises a full beard and moustache. And while this facial hair style may be appealing to granola-crunching hipster chicks, the overwhelming majority of women equate the lumberjack beard with sloppy grooming habits. On the bright side, so long as it emphasizes his masculinity rather his recent emergence from a cage, women don't mind some degree of facial hair on a man. To reap the benefits of not having to shave on a daily basis while still being able to capture the attention of a member of the opposite sex who won't bore you to death with stories of her latest fennel-and-beet-based vegan diet, replace your lumberjack with a permanent five o'clock shadow.

The half-moustache

Alternative facial hair style: clean-shaven
The half-moustache refers to the dubious beginning and middle stages of trying to grow a moustache without a concomitant beard. The result of sprouting scraggly hairs on your upper lip without any facial hair on the rest of your face is that you'll look like an adolescent. And considering that grown women are searching for grown men, the half-moustache won't do you any favors in the dating department. If you absolutely cannot resist growing a moustache, make sure you grow a beard at the same time. Once your facial hair has reached an acceptable length, then and only then should you shave off your beard. Alternatively, just don't grow a moustache -- you will undoubtedly find a few women who like them, but all women enjoy a clean-shaven face.