Balance sex and romance

For a man, sex and romance aren't inextricably linked. We don't usually see any sort of relationship between one and the other; sex is fun, spontaneous and is in its own means and ends. On the other side of the coin, there is the perspective of the woman (or for our purposes), who refers to it as making love. In other words, a woman requires sex and romance. Women love compromises, and relationships, unfortunately, require them. You'll need to find some time to balance sex and romance in order to ensure that you continue to get “some” on a regular basis. That said, here is our guide on how to balance sex and romance with your woman.

Date night = romance

When you're in a committed, long-term relationship, some of the magic inevitably starts to wane. When this happens, the rest of your life starts finding it's way back to the top of your list of priorities. Projects at work you've been neglecting begin to take on new importance, much to her chagrin. If you're smart, you've already incorporated “date night” into your relationship; a night where work, your friends and the entirety of the outside world take a back seat to the wonderfulness that is your girlfriend or wife.

Date night is when you focus on romance. Doors are opened, roses are purchased and pedestals are populated with that woman who is far too good for you. On these nights, show her the tenderness that she remembers from that first week you started seeing each other. Contrary to popular belief, women aren't soul-crushing packages of complete irrationality, but they do require a periodic relationship recharge.

Girls’ night out = sex

Your girlfriend has friends-- women you may or may not care for. Really, though, what do you care? Let her spend some time with the girls. In fact, on a night that she has plans to go out without you, to commiserate with her estrogen squad, you are faced with the perfect opportunity for some spontaneous sex.

Women like it when you're spontaneous and they like feeling so attractive that you can't keep your hands off of them. When she gets back from the night on the town, take advantage of some detached, physical sex. She's been out listening to problems and aspirations of her friends, and will likely be in the mood to get down. Be ready.

Holidays = romance

Women love the holidays. The world is, supposedly, filled with good cheer and the malls are filled with good sales. The weather presents a perfect excuse to cuddle up on the couch with you and a glass of wine. The holidays present a perfect opportunity to reinvigorate your relationship and restore any fading romance.

Try going ice skating. If you're a good skater, all the better, but if you're a failure, the awkward flailing around will at least make her laugh (and laughter is an absurdly cheap aphrodisiac).

Post-argument = sex

An argument is a supernova of passion, hurt emotions and feelings of strength. Both you and your girlfriend are upset, hormones are raging and your blood pressure is up. Basically, you've set yourselves up for a fight with no physical relief. Obviously, you're not going to fight, which means it is time for some lovin'.

Sex, especially physical, dirty sex, is a spectacular relief to that fight-or-flight mentality. Make-up sex is legendary when it comes to relief and enjoyment. Obviously, you can't spark a fight just for the make-up, but you can absolutely take advantage of an organic fight when it arises.

Anniversaries = romance

Anniversaries are basically the mother of all romantic days -- they're a day-long date. The whole day revolves around catering to her whims. Anniversaries are a chance to be romantic and to remind her that you're still capable of sweeping her off her feet should the occasion arise. Do yourself a favor and write down your anniversary right now in your i-Phone or Black-Berry (it's that important).

This annual display of adoration holds the key to engaging in the sex you want without annoying her. So, this is not the time for dinner and a movie: This is breakfast-in-bed, dinner-cruise or trip-out-of-town territory. It's vital you don't mess this up since it only comes around once a year.

Quickies = sex

Women love quickies as much as men do. It's a little secret, but sometimes women want to get off just as much as men do without having to plan an all-day primping session. You need to try and respect that feeling and indulge her with a quickie every once in a while. The spontaneity is a huge turn on, but you're walking a fine line. The normal response ingrained in men is to make it sensual, because we think that's what she wants. All that's going to do here is create an obligatory cuddle session, and when that happens, you've missed the point entirely. Think of it as a sexy workout, not a sensual affair (this anecdote shouldn't appear anywhere within the pages of a romance novel).

Sex on a wire

Relationships are a product of compromise, and without a healthy balance between the two partners you have a selfish disaster that is sure to fail. As men, we have been conditioned by our genes and our general culture to value the physical act of sex above all else. Women, on the other hand, see the physical act as part of a much larger and more important set of behaviors that build a bond that must be tended to. Balancing our love of the physical with their need for the bond is something every man must do to ensure a long-lasting, rewarding relationship. The payoff in either case is about the same, so it's important to know when to stress the romance as well as when we can get away with quick physical sex.